I know that neither family could tell by our behavior, but Thanksgiving was horrific for us - it was too painful without him.
In the car on the way home from spending time with both sides of the family, the kids and I cried. We had long talks during both car rides home and decided that we are canceling Christmas.
We are going to stay home in our p.j.'s and graze and have a movie marathon and play video games and have breakfast for dinner.
Just thinking about the upcoming holidays without him brings tidal waves of pain and overwhelming sadness.
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